The first thing you should know about Lauryn Evarts Bosstick: Honesty—unflinching, unfiltered honesty—is basically her brand. You’re already well aware of this fact if you’ve followed the Southern California native’s wildly popular wellness and lifestyle site, The Skinny Confidential, at any point over the past ten years of its existence: Capitalizing on her signature no-BS commentary as an M.O., Evarts Bosstick has spent the past decade expanding her blog to a bona fide media empire, including a podcast, book, and YouTube channel—with tens of thousands of followers in hot pursuit.

So naturally, when Evarts Bosstick found out that she and her husband Michael were expecting their first child, there was never really any question of how much she’d be willing to share. (Read: Everything, from the “pleasant surprise” of her daughter’s conception to negotiating all the emotional and physical changes that come with growing a human.) But she insists that it’s not just a matter of giving her audience what they expect from her at this point—she also wanted to draw back the curtain on pregnancy in general, and talk about the things she wishes she had known ahead of time.

“We need to talk about all the good, the bad, and the ugly,” she tells us. “It's important to be transparent about it because Instagram has the ability to make things look so easy. Not that it’s ‘hard’—I’ve been very lucky with this pregnancy. But we should talk more about all the ups and downs.”

With that all in mind, we invited Evarts Bosstick to give us an even closer look at how she’s preparing for her new arrival—and the realities of pregnancy that we don’t necessarily talk about.

On her unexpected road to pregnancy…

“To be honest, I wasn’t doing anything to prepare. That’s just the honest truth. The only thing is that I was pretty healthy, because I usually am: I was drinking my green smoothie with iron and magnesium, greens and fiber, for example. I always load up on lemon mint water. I was taking Ritual multivitamins and a great probiotic, plus working out 6 to 7 days a week.

“I was also doing a lot of meditation. I’m a big believer in the idea that when you put a lot of stress into something it doesn’t get you what you want. We weren’t planning on getting pregnant but we also weren’t being ‘careful.’ Michael and I have known each other since we were 12 so it was a very pleasant surprise.”

On rising to the occasion…

“As soon as I got pregnant I was like, ‘Ok—I have to get my shit together.’ So that meant modifying workouts from strength training to traditional Pilates, cutting out alcohol, and cutting out raw fish. It meant getting to bed earlier, it meant protecting my energy, setting boundaries, finding out the right nutrients to take (I swapped out my Ritual Essential for Women to the Essential Prenatal immediately. It was a no-brainer.) I also cut my caffeine down to 200mg a day, started lots of bodywork, and of course, got myself some new pants because my husband’s just weren’t going to cut it.”

On the elements of pregnancy she didn’t anticipate…

“I was really surprised by how hard it was to gain so much weight in a short period of time. I think this is something that needs to be talked about more. It’s not easy going through all these changes with your body and your partner doesn't really understand.

“I also miss a margarita. Everyone told me you don’t crave it, but that’s not the case for me. Even a martini sounds good at this point (and I’ve never even loved martinis!).

“On the other hand, there’s also a side of me that really likes it. It’s nice to be in bed early and wake up early, bond with the baby, and experience it all. It’s also kind of weird. It’s like this alien has invaded your body and lives in your stomach. I never thought about pregnancy much before I got pregnant so it’s been a big learning experience for me.”

On the idea of being “maternal…”

“I’ve never felt super maternal. I do think that will change when I have the baby though—then again, maybe it won’t. Either way, I know I’ll be obsessed with my and Michael’s baby.

“We go through so many different chapters in life, and just because you’re not maternal in your 20s or even your 30s, doesn’t mean that you can’t become maternal. And [even if you don’t identify] as ‘maternal,’ that doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid. I’m just enjoying the ride and so far I’ve felt really connected to my baby, which has surprised me.

On her favorite pregnancy rituals…

“Every morning I wake up at 7, tongue-scrape, take my Ritual Prenatal, rub oils all over my belly, make the bed, meditate, have 2 tablespoons of raw almond butter, then go to pilates. I do an hour pilates class then have the same green smoothie.”

On what it means to be a mom in 2020…

“Being a mom in 2020 doesn’t mean you have to have your whole identity wrapped up in that. You can be a mom, you can a business owner, you can be a great wife, you can be great in bed, and you can be a great cook too. Long gone are the days where women are just put into one box.

“There’s also nothing wrong with a new mother getting help—in fact, I’m all about it. Pregnancy and childbirth is a time when people need grace and support, not judgement.”